In the divorce cases we have seen fathers struggle with (some fathers falsely accused of domestic violence), one of the most frequently used help words is “smeared”, “framed”, “slandered”, and “fake allegations”. This kind of thing happens often. The strange thing is that even if this is the case, the courts are often easily convinced. Even the law enforcement units (police) always listen to women. The investigators, psychologists, and even your own lawyers might believe the bad things your ex-wife said about you.
Being in this process is really a torture for a good father like you. You may see your ex-wife full of lies and exaggerates hundreds of times. And you are assumed guilty until you can prove your innocence.
Worst of all, even if the courts finally deny her accusations, the woman can walk away without any punishment. In many cases, she and her friends may have already participated in perjury, but they can get off with clean hands. When you look at Johnny Depp’s divorce case, many people saw Amber Heard was full of lies, but in the end, she is just not prosecuted. When the liar was not criminally prosecuted, it would further encourage other people to continue to lie in court. Fathers falsely accused of domestic violence
Why are so many fathers falsely accused of domestic violence?
Women, like all people, may lie for a variety of reasons, including to protect themselves or others, to avoid consequences, to achieve personal gain, or to manipulate a situation to their advantage. It’s important to note that lying is a complex behavior that can stem from a multitude of factors and motivations, and it’s not accurate to make generalizations about any gender or group of people. It’s also crucial to remember that individuals are unique and may have their own personal reasons for lying.
The motivations for lying can be complex and varied. However, research in psychology and neuroscience has offered some insights into the underlying mechanisms and factors that contribute to lying behavior. One key factor is the ability to regulate emotions and impulses, which can play a role in whether a person decides to lie or not. Another factor is cognitive ability, as people who are better able to manipulate information and think abstractly may be more likely to lie.
Therefore, we can conclude that when you see your ex-wife lying about how bad you are, she is in a emotionally unstable stage.
Your ex-wife must know that lying can have consequences, both for the person who is lying and for others. For example, repeated lying can damage trust and relationships, and can also have legal or professional consequences. However, she needs to do that to make sense of the divorce and reconnect the people as a “good woman”.
4 tactics to deal with your ex-wife lying
How to deal with her lies? In fact, it’s not that people don’t believe in you (as a man). It’s that everyone realize it’s not easy to “know” the inside story in your house. So they decide not to believe anyone. Therefore, when a woman tells a version, even if it’s not yet proven true, everyone would rather start an investigation first. However, what the legal workers don’t know is that the unsaid rule of “trusting a victimized women first” gives the falsely-accused fathers the “death sentence” in his upcoming divorce battle.
Take a real case for example where a father was accused of domestic violence by his ex-wife without any evidence. The ex-wife called the police. The police came to the house and detained the father for a night. After that, the ex-wife also successfully issued TRO against the father. Because of the TRO, the father could not get close to the child for several months. During this time, the father could not bear it, so he wrote more messages to his ex-wife, and was therefore issued more protection orders. In the end, the judge awarded custody of the child to his ex-wife because the child had not been living with the father for more than 1 year and the child expresses that she doesn’t want to see her father anymore.
In this case, the father lost the battle because of being falsely accused in the first place. So, what should we do? Here are some methods:
First, don’t be angry. Some people say that the most painful thing is not to be accused, but to be accused of something that does not exist at all. It makes people completely disappointed in human nature, especially seeing this former lover (ex-wife) doing such vicious things to himself. Others, including friends, family and professionals, actually buy into her lies and believe you are the bad guy. It is really a great torture! At this time, the anger level is very high, but, please believe us, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are many fathers who have been accused and stigmatized in the same way. They have experienced the same pain as you. It’s important to lower the anger in your heart so that you can “fight longer”.
Second, start collecting “other kinds of evidence.” It is difficult to prove something does not exist. Especially when your ex-wife pinches his own arm and creates a fake scar, how do you prove that the scar is fake? If you spend your energy on proving, it is probably useless. It is a waste of time. At this time, you should collect other evidence. Why? Because as long as you bring up similar and equally violent incidents as hers (fake accusation against you), then the two of you will be placed on the same scale. So at this time, instead of trying to prove your innocence, find a way to find “she is also equally black”. It might not be very difficult to find – because women who can slander others must have made a lot of mistakes themselves.
Third, don’t try to convince others. When you keep trying to convince others, others will begin to have a bad impression of you. Although they always make you feel that they are listening and seemingly believing, in fact they only believe you temporarily at most. An investigation has to be done. Often, in the end, they will not be able to restore your innocence. You have to somewhat believe that professionals see so many cases every day. They can see who is lying. Don’t be too impatient and refute early. Don’t knock on the table in despair. At this time, give them sometime and give yourself sometime to wait patiently.
Fourth, try to come up with a what we call “warm males” trait, which is very contrarian. Usually, when we are falsely accused, we just want to fight, not to be a good person. We even think that becoming friendly is equal to silently admitting the other party’s false accusations. We might also think it will make people think you “really did something bad.” But on the contrary, that part is based on the evidence. All the accusations may not be established after all. You have to take advantage of this time to enhance your “image”. It should be a warm, communicable, and a good man. When she smears and forcefully pretends to be pitiful, her “audience” might see something strange. In contrary, your honesty and humbleness might make everyone like you.
Men are bad-mouthed by women all the time. It is not without solutions. The important thing is how to make yourself look away and not be affected. During this time, how you live happily is the most important thing.